just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
