Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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