Just fell off a train. Bad.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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