We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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