I seem to have left my pride at pride
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
nutella sex= disaster
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
