I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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