The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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