I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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