I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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