He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize