I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
