maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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