my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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