I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Life is so much better after having sex.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize