I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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