If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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