We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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