At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
