Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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