I feel like I'm in dance class right now
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize