why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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