Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
