he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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