all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
