Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
