4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
