A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
