Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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