i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
