You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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