You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
