There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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