Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
