Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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