his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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