We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
