dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
