remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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