I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
