I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize