bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
