It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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