if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize