I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Rumble strips road head = magical
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
