Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize