so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
