She's JV to your varsity
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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