would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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