Your tits are I can't wait for
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
