What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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