# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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