Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
