He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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