so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
