y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
