no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
