More tranny stories later!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Text me some of your sweat
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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