She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
