I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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