Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
