Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
