the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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