i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
