We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize