ya dads aren't the best wingmen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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