My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize