You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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