all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
