I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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