I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
