if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
