He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
