This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize