youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
