covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
